Joker, joker, joker!

Something irritated me today, and I don’t recall what it is, so now that is irritating me.

Here’s a little joker’s wild since I’m in the mood to write something.

• I worked at the Minnesota State Fair during 10 of the 12 days, but I spent very little time taking in any of it. I’m not much of a fan, I just wanted the short-term income. I did, however, play a $1 game of “Deal or No Deal” at the arcade on Monday night before going home. The game is played for tickets to trade for cheap trinkets. For $1, the top prize is 200 tickets. (You can play a $2 game for a top prize of 400 tickets.)

There are 16 cases in this game and a bank offer to buy the case after each round. I kept my case to the end. It was down to either five or 200 tickets and the bank offer was 102. I wasn’t playing for a prize, but it was tempting to take 102 tickets and trade them for some lame trinket because five tickets wouldn’t have been worth anything, but I went for broke and hit 200 tickets. Wow, I’m quite the gambler! I traded my tickets for a pair of rubber dice which have a flashing red light that is activated when you roll them.

• I have had a cold since Tuesday. I have a runny nose that I can’t stop, even with over-the-counter crap. And when I have a sneezing spell I get really pissed. Sneezing is a stupid involuntary response, but when I sneeze multiple times in a finite period of time I get the equivalent of road rage. It makes no sense, but it’s true.

• I am going camping on Saturday night, weather permitting.

• On top of the fact I’ve had a cold the past three days, it has been hot and humid. That makes me twice as cranky.

• The Minnesota Vikings game may be blacked out locally this weekend because the team can’t sell out the big inflatable toilet. The deadline to sell it out was today, but since it is close to a sellout, the deadline was extended until Friday afternoon. What’s the point of the deadline then? It’s a soft deadline if you’re close to a sellout, and a hard deadline if you’re never gonna make it anyway. That’s lame.

Vikings officials are suggesting a combination of factors are contributing to the slow ticket sales. One excuse is highway closures coupled with the loss of the 35W bridge. People aren’t willing to make the trek downtown under such adverse conditions, allegedly. 62,000 people are, but not 64,000, evidently.

Another excuse is the lack of Michael Vick. People were willing to shell out more than $100 for a pair of nosebleed tickets, prior to his legal woes, just to see him play? Really? I find that hard to believe.

Shockingly Vikings officials aren’t the least bit concerned that their lackluster team, coming off a woeful season, is a reason people are unwilling to fork over half of a mortgage or rent payment for an afternoon of “entertainment.” Nope, that can’t have anything to do with it.

• “Wide stance” is on the verge of becoming the best pop culture term since “wardrobe malfunction.”