Monday, January 25, 2010

Put up or shut up (unedited)

I have wanted to blog for a while, but haven't, for various reasons.

As I type, I'm typing from the office, not my home computer. In early December my computer fried. I had it repaired, and perhaps upgraded, for $125. I'm not sure because I haven't done much more than plug it in and fire it up. I canceled my Internet service when my computer fried, as I knew it would be a while before I got it fixed. Now it's fixed and I need to get it connected to the outside world. That will come soon enough.

I was very busy from August through early November. Super busy, and it wasn't all bad. I wish I didn't feel that I need to work extra jobs to maintain my meager lifestyle, but I do. That's life. I also took time to bike in southern Indiana and spend a glorious week in Las Vegas, chasing my game show dreams yet again. I really need to blog about that experience.

Since November, life has slowed down, but not completely, and it never will. I also have a new girlfriend. We started dating in August. She's a former co-worker, and our relationship wasn't my doing. Life is funny that way. She's not the reason I'm not blogging, but she does take up more of my time, and that's a good thing.

I enjoy the periodic challenges blogging presents, the risks I take, the ideas I express in words. I don't regret that I have kept it a secret from all but four people (two of which I have never met.) Sometimes I want feedback, and inspiration, but more often than not I don't. I'm not ashamed of anything I have written, but like most things, some are diamonds, some are rough.

I've wondered what I should or shouldn't do in the future. Do I open up this collection of content to those who know me? If I do so, will it influence what I do in the future? Will anyone care enough to read my sporadic posts more than a few times?

I can always start a new blog, and make it a public blog. Or turn this into a public blog, and start a new super-secret blog. I'm not sure what to do, but I need to find a greater purpose to what I'm doing, not just when it comes to writing and blogging, but life in general.