Monday, October 6, 2008

Damn I'm tired

Blogging after Cosmo's wedding was an inspired decision, but I was tired all day Monday. I'm often awake past midnight, but I'm not often slurping up $5.50 cocktails for three or four hours prior to blogging at 1 a.m.

Those of us from Cosmo's newspaper circle were seated together at table 5. It seemed like a good idea, as there would be eight of us, and an infant. The problem was that Rush decided two weeks ago he couldn't attend due to childcare issues. What a bunch of crap.

At least he was able to let Cosmo know he had to cancel. Teri and her hetero life partner pulled a Teri. She said they were coming and then no-showed, as she is wont to do. She even e-mailed me last week to see if I would be attending, and I confirmed I was. Of course her dinner was paid for well in advance, and somehow I doubt it was an emergency or sudden Sunday night conflict that kept her and the mister from attending. Downright tacky.

So the four of us connected via the newspaper were sitting alone, until Marsha sat down at our table. I was curious who this woman with no family or friends was, but she was across the table from me, seated next to mother and child. I wasn't in the mood to make small talk. It turns out she was the wedding planner. She was there from start to finish, for what purpose I'm not entirely sure, but she was there.

I can only assume she's Jewish, but I don't know for sure. She's definitely a yenta, and while I've always assumed a yenta is automatically a Hebrew, I guess I'm not sure. At this point if I had to wager $10, I'd wager she's a card-carrying member of the nation.

How did I know she was a yenta? At some point she wants to know who we are across the table, and she immeidately starts asking if we're single. Oy ve!

Apparently I seemed like a less-than-hopeless project, because at a later point in the evening she asked what I thought of the maid of honor. She was quite lovely, and before I knew it, Marsha was checking on her availability. Here's a shock, she was "spoken for."

They claim that weddings are great places to meet people, and the whole "Wedding Crashers" movie was based upon that concept. I disagree. Nobody likes to go to a wedding and say "look at me, I'm flying solo because I'm a pathetic loser!" I never drag somebody with me to a wedding, but I'm tired of sticking out like a sore thumb. The way I figure it, you should be significantly committed to someone before you subject them to the awkwardness of a wedding, unless you both come from the same circle of friends.

Yet almost nobody under the age of 50 seems to be flying solo at a wedding these days. But given that I wouldn't drag someone to a wedding just to avoid sticking out like a sore thumb, it's another reason why I have to stop going to them.

I'm tired of playing by the wedding rules, so I'm going to stop playing, no matter how many hot young Jewish chicks are going to be at the reception.

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