Put the milf out of her misery

I work with a lunatic. It's love/hate with this woman.

She's in her mid-40s, divorced and so high strung that members of The Flying Wallendas would look at her as a challenge.

What have I learned about this milf with cougar tendencies, who, surprise, is in sales? (We'll call her Jilf.)

Jilf is divorced. You think she's raising her sons? Nope, they live out of state with their father.

She loves to drive fast...to the tune of 70+ speeding tickets in her lifetime. (How does she still have a license?)

She has done some form of modeling. And worked as a flight attendant.

She loves horses, and considers herself a cowgirl.

She can't shut up, and cracks herself up every damn day. My favorite is what comes closest to being her catch phrase. I paraphrase: "If you mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns." Sometimes she cracks up when she tells people that.

She stays active in adult sports leagues.

She doesn't drink. (I'd swear she's drunk all the time.)

She thinks she's fat compared to when she was in her 20s, despite the fact she's practically a twig at 40+.

She doesn't own her home, probably due in part to the fact she seems to move around the country every few years. She has a roommate, however, although it sounds like Jilf is annoyed by the roommate. (Oh, the irony.)

At least one member of the sales staff has moved to an open desk far away from Jilf simply to get away from her loud, nutty daily diatribes.

She chronically dates, and even if she has a short-term relationship with a guy, it fizzles. (I can't fathom how a guy could take more than one or two doses of her.) She may be a mid-40s milf who hates online shopping, but Jilf is all about the online dating and text messaging.

As I said, there's a love/hate thing with this woman. She can be highly entertaning, but I really wish our worlds had never collided.