Bristol Palin is a whore (unedited)

I'm not exactly breaking news when I tell you that Bristol Palin is a whore. A media whore, for sure. Beyond that, I can't say.

I don't know what's more pathetic, that Bristol and her fascinating life are going to be chronicled via a new show on a cable network I've never heard of, or that I read the Yahoo! blurb about it today.

The 20-year-old media whore is going to work for some sort of charitable operation in California and hobnob for the TV cameras with her celebrity pals she made through her participation in "Dancing with the Stars." A woman whose only accomplishments are getting pregnant and parlaying her mother's celebrity status into an appearance on a televised dancing competition is now fascinating enough to have a video crew follow her around, allegedly. It's not surprising, and considering how low cable television sinks to attract the Jerry Springer sector of society, why not profile a fraudulent teenager who is now telling teenagers "do as I say, not as I did."

You can't blame Bristol for cashing in as a media whore. Like mother, like daughter.

The mother-daughter media whores irritate me, but I can't blame them. I'd cash in if somebody gave me an opportunity to do so. Why govern Alaska when Fox News and mindless Republicans will throw money at you? Why go to college, get an education and work for a living when television networks will finance your alleged plastic surgery?

If you gave me a shot at Bristol, I'd take it. Riding the Palin gravy train beats working for a living, and if she kicked me to the curb I could cash in a la Levi Johnston. If that guy plays his cards right, he'll never have to live paycheck to paycheck, either.

I loathe the Palins, but if it wasn't for that moron John McCain, I'd have no idea who those whores are. Thanks for plucking a media whore from obscurity, John. You should be locked up for committing a crime against humanity.