If I had to bet $100, I'd bet that Joe Mauer is not gay.
As noted previously, Joe Mauer is most likely just a guy who likes his privacy, but even if people claim they don't care whether or not he is gay, they do. And if he is gay, it matters to a segment of society.
That being said, Joe did nothing to diffuse my theory that he might be gay. Here in Minnesota we have a local talk show called Twin Cities Live. It's about what you expect from a local talk show, lots of lame segments, the occasional celebrity in town to promote a book or movie and a cast of local celebrities who don't deserve the title of celebrity.
A few weeks ago TCL featured a segment on our boy Mauer filming another one of his fraudulent commercials for a local line of dairy products. (I doubt that his family has been loyal to this brand of dairy products for the past 100 years, but I'm a skeptic, what do you want?)
The wacky out-and-about reporter they subject us to periodically was granted the royal privilege of behind-the-scenes access to this fascinating world of television commercial production. During an interview of Baby Jesus and his mother, who appears in the dairy company endorsements, the TCL imp asked Mauer if he has a girlfriend. After hemming and hawing for a moment he said he is seeing someone.
He didn't answer yes. That may simply be because he doesn't consider this "someone" to be a girlfriend at this point. If you date somebody several times, it doesn't mean you've entered a committed relationship. During the baseball season I doubt Mauer has a lot of free time for dating, so perhaps he recently started dating a woman but hasn't had time to cultivate a relationship. Therefore he can't say he has a girlfriend, since he doesn't.
But the skeptic in me can't help but wonder if Mauer is playing the pronoun game. Instead of acknowledging that he has a girlfriend, he pauses long enough to admit he's seeing someone and leaves it as that, because that someone is a man. It's possible.
I hadn't thought a lot about this until last night, when my friend, a woman in her 20s who has long been infatuated with Mauer, told me that he has a child. I was quite surprised to hear this, so I asked her what her information source was. It turns out that she read about an alleged 1-year-old daughter, and fiance, on Mauer's Wikipedia page the previous week, and had printed out the page as evidence. She showed it to me, and I have a copy of it.
The information about this 1-year-old daughter and child has since been scrubbed from the Wikipedia page. My friend was unaware of how easy it is to post anything about anyone on a Wikipedia page. For a woman in her 20s, it's mildly impressive how detached she is from the Internet. She has a Facebook page and logs into it, but she's not nearly as Internet dependent as most people in their 20s. It's nice to see.
The Wikipedia reference to a fiance and child suggested that the woman was an on-again, off-again girlfriend who is now Mauer's fiance. It also named her and suggested she is a former Edina High School basketball star. (Edina is a Minneapolis suburb, and a wealthy one at that.) I searched for her name several times and several ways, and I am of the conclusion that the posting of this information is the work of a prankster. Never mind the fact it would be mildly remarkable if Mauer is able to keep the birth of a daughter a secret from the world for more than a year. The only other reference I could find to the alleged fiance and child was a variant of the info in the printout. Some website archived Mauer info from Wikipedia that showed similar information, although it had a different birth date for the child.
I won't say it is impossible for Mauer to have a child and keep it a secret from most of the population, but given that parenting children out of wedlock is practically celebrated in the NBA, the social stigma of having a child and not being married is long gone, and therefore makes for an illogical secret. If it's true, it whitewashes Mauer's squeaky clean image, but big deal. All that does is make him more human, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm convinced the reference was either a prank or the wishful thinking of a delusional stalker who wants to be the mother of his child. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps he is the father of a 1-year-old daughter. That would make me wrong twice.
But until I'm proven wrong, there's a chance I'm right. Not that there's anything wrong with that.