I've had an internet connection for nearly two weeks, it's hard to believe I haven't taken the time to rant about everything that pisses me off. (I have a modest part-time gig developing content for a Facebook application, so that takes up some of my time these days. Despite that, it all changes tonight.)
I went to the Twins/White Sox game tonight, my second in consecutive nights. I'll spare the details regarding why I'm 26 months away from retiring from pro sporting events. At least the Sox finally won in my fourth trip to a "Twins" game this season, but that's not nearly enough to make me happy.
On my way to the H.H.H. Metrodome, or the Big Inflatable Toilet as I like to call it, I decided to stop at my local bank's ATM machines. There are two of them, because we as a society like our machines more than human interaction.
When I pulled up, there were two cars lined up for each machine. But the line on the right looked to be longer than the line on the left. I saw a car in the right lane leaving as I pulled up, so logic dictated that the left side was advantageous. I was wrong.
The morons at the front of the line took their sweet time at the machine. They must have thought it was a slot machine, and by playing it long enough, the machine would start "paying out."
As I sat idle in the left lane, I watched cars breeze throught the right lane. A suburban-assault vehicle pulled up behind me as the lead car in my lane finally departed.
The vehicle in front of me was filled with all sorts of white trash. Perhaps I'm wrong and highly judgmental, but I doubt it. The car ahead of me had 7,353 separate transactions to process, including a mortgage application, evidently.
The suburban-assault vehicle behind me not only pulled over to the rapidly-flowing right lane, it completed its transaction before I even pulled up to my lane's slot machine. I saw at least three vehicles pull into the drive-thru lanes after I did, only to depart before I got a whiff of my slot machine.
Pouring salt on my open wounds, the white trash in the vehicle directly in front of me sat there for about 30 seconds after the last of their 7,353 transactions, doing nothing but talking about how they were screwing me over, I'm sure.
At that point I was tempted to spend five minutes applying for a low-interest loan at the ATM when it was finally my turn, simply to screw over the rest of the free world. But then I realized I'm not nearly as lousy of a human being as many people I have crossed paths with, and decided the better of it.
Regardless, by the time I completed my 30-second ATM transaction in the left lane, there was nobody to be found, either behind me or in the empty lane to my right. And for the rest of the night I was pissed. If there is a god in heaven, she was determined to test my faith in humanity. Congratulations, Alanis, I failed your test.
I have a new ATM policy as of 6 p.m. this evening. I won't bore you with the details...but the bottom line is this: I don't wait in line behind the white trash of society for access to an ATM, unless it is an emergency. Trust me, this plan is brilliant, just don't break into my apartment, there's likely to be $300 in cash in my dresser drawer.
If you think I'm pissed now, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Puerto Vallarta
I have never been to Mexico, but that should change this fall.
A couple of weeks ago I had a voicemail message from one of the twin cities radio stations. It's one of several stations I listen to for about 10 minutes per week. Somehow I don't need a constant soundtrack to get through my daily routines, unlike many people, it seems. Sure, it's nice to have music to listen to when I'm bicycling, but it's not that vital to me, not vital enough that I need an iPod plugged into my ears when I'm trying to yell at idiot Rollerbladers who are busy rocking out to Panic at the Disco while skating in the middle of a trail. I'll never understand the logic behind that, but I digress.
I have been receiving the e-mail newsletter of a lame "playing what we want" radio station for a few years. I signed up for the weekly e-mails back when the station was obsessed with 80s tunes, and when the format changed, the e-mail list simply rolled over with the new format. I usually scan the e-mails for online contests to enter, occasionally scoring tickets to something or another with minimal effort on my part, and without having to listen to the station.
A pimply-faced intern from the station left me the message a couple of weeks ago, explaining I was chosen for one of their prizes, and that I was receiving an upgrade. He could barely pronounce the city, and I'm pretty sure he didn't bother to read through the promotional copy prior to reciting it on my voice mail, but despite his inability to communicate I learned that I was chosen to receive a Funjet vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I was a bit stunned.
I am going to pick up the vacation package information this week, so I'll know more about it then, but based upon what the promotions woman told me the following morning I will receive a four-night trip for two to an all-inclusive resort in the Puerto Vallarta area.
I have never been to Mexico, and it wasn't high on my priority list, but I won't argue with the destination. I have never been to any of the exotic, tropical vacation destinations. I'm not sure where Puerto Vallarta ranks in comparison to the Bahamas, Hawaii or elsewhere, but I'm slightly excited by the idea of seeing a different part of the world, even if it's a touristy area of an otherwise repressed country.
If all goes well, I'll be going the week after Halloween.
A couple of weeks ago I had a voicemail message from one of the twin cities radio stations. It's one of several stations I listen to for about 10 minutes per week. Somehow I don't need a constant soundtrack to get through my daily routines, unlike many people, it seems. Sure, it's nice to have music to listen to when I'm bicycling, but it's not that vital to me, not vital enough that I need an iPod plugged into my ears when I'm trying to yell at idiot Rollerbladers who are busy rocking out to Panic at the Disco while skating in the middle of a trail. I'll never understand the logic behind that, but I digress.
I have been receiving the e-mail newsletter of a lame "playing what we want" radio station for a few years. I signed up for the weekly e-mails back when the station was obsessed with 80s tunes, and when the format changed, the e-mail list simply rolled over with the new format. I usually scan the e-mails for online contests to enter, occasionally scoring tickets to something or another with minimal effort on my part, and without having to listen to the station.
A pimply-faced intern from the station left me the message a couple of weeks ago, explaining I was chosen for one of their prizes, and that I was receiving an upgrade. He could barely pronounce the city, and I'm pretty sure he didn't bother to read through the promotional copy prior to reciting it on my voice mail, but despite his inability to communicate I learned that I was chosen to receive a Funjet vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I was a bit stunned.
I am going to pick up the vacation package information this week, so I'll know more about it then, but based upon what the promotions woman told me the following morning I will receive a four-night trip for two to an all-inclusive resort in the Puerto Vallarta area.
I have never been to Mexico, and it wasn't high on my priority list, but I won't argue with the destination. I have never been to any of the exotic, tropical vacation destinations. I'm not sure where Puerto Vallarta ranks in comparison to the Bahamas, Hawaii or elsewhere, but I'm slightly excited by the idea of seeing a different part of the world, even if it's a touristy area of an otherwise repressed country.
If all goes well, I'll be going the week after Halloween.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
No. 7 (unedited)
A week from now I may finally have an internet connection in my new apartment. I finally signed up for service, but those crooks at Comcast tell me I have to wait eight days for a "technician" to come to my building and flip a switch, or something like that. I am convinced many of the services these so-called technicians perform are really just busy work Comcast has them do so they can charge a service fee and keep the dudes busy until a real problem occurs.
Last week I took a rare week off from work and spent it up north. I take time off through the year, but rarely an entire week, and usually not in the summer. That makes no sense, but nothing I do makes sense.
Last week I spent my vacation in Osakis, Minn., the small town I frequent thanks to my friends, who have a little lake place up there.
It was during this week that I completed No. 7, my seventh "century" bike ride. As I have noted before, bicyclists fixate upon the magic number 100, and therefore a 100-mile ride is something special. In all my years, I've accomplished the task seven times. For the third consecutive year I've done it while riding the Central Lakes bike trail. The round trip is 112 miles.
The ride was not particularly memorable. I've seen the sights twice before, and while it's a nice trail that passes several small lakes, what I'll remember most is how woefully prepared I was for the challenge. I had biked rather ambitiously throughout June, but I had yet to bike more than 48 miles in one day, yet I figured I was ready for the challenge of 112. It's a very flat trail, so why not?
During the past two years I have biked this trail late in the summer, weeks after completing the MS150, a two-day, 150-mile bike ride. I didn't do the MS150 this past June, and I learned last week that there's something to be said for completing such a ride prior to attempting 112 miles.
It wasn't very windy on June 30, the day I completed No. 7, but what wind there was didn't seem to help me. I thought perhaps it'd help push be back to Osakis when I reached the turnaround point in Fergus Falls, but I was wrong. It wasn't hot, but it was warmer than I prefer for a long-distance challenge. I stopped for rest breaks more often than I anticipated. Those helped, but during the latter half of the ride, I was riding on fumes at times.
I didn't depart until after lunch, but past experience has shown me that I can complete the round trip, with rest stops, in eight hours or less. I departed about 1:15 p.m., thinking I had plenty of time to finish the ride by sunset, which was approximately 9:19 p.m.
I was wrong.
I knew when I stopped for water about 25 miles from the end of my ride that I'd be finishing after sunset, but I didn't care. I don't like to ride in the dark, but without a break, I wasn't sure I'd make it back to Osakis. I finished at approximately 9:45 p.m. Although it was darker than I prefer, it's not as if I was trying to bike through the streets of Minneapolis in the dark, and there was a tinge of sunlight in the western sky when I finished, so it wasn't as dark as it could be.
My average speed was the worst of the three round trips I have made, and I wasn't surprised. It was still respectable, I suppose, but I was disappointed.
Moral of my story: prepare better before attempting my next century ride. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.
Last week I took a rare week off from work and spent it up north. I take time off through the year, but rarely an entire week, and usually not in the summer. That makes no sense, but nothing I do makes sense.
Last week I spent my vacation in Osakis, Minn., the small town I frequent thanks to my friends, who have a little lake place up there.
It was during this week that I completed No. 7, my seventh "century" bike ride. As I have noted before, bicyclists fixate upon the magic number 100, and therefore a 100-mile ride is something special. In all my years, I've accomplished the task seven times. For the third consecutive year I've done it while riding the Central Lakes bike trail. The round trip is 112 miles.
The ride was not particularly memorable. I've seen the sights twice before, and while it's a nice trail that passes several small lakes, what I'll remember most is how woefully prepared I was for the challenge. I had biked rather ambitiously throughout June, but I had yet to bike more than 48 miles in one day, yet I figured I was ready for the challenge of 112. It's a very flat trail, so why not?
During the past two years I have biked this trail late in the summer, weeks after completing the MS150, a two-day, 150-mile bike ride. I didn't do the MS150 this past June, and I learned last week that there's something to be said for completing such a ride prior to attempting 112 miles.
It wasn't very windy on June 30, the day I completed No. 7, but what wind there was didn't seem to help me. I thought perhaps it'd help push be back to Osakis when I reached the turnaround point in Fergus Falls, but I was wrong. It wasn't hot, but it was warmer than I prefer for a long-distance challenge. I stopped for rest breaks more often than I anticipated. Those helped, but during the latter half of the ride, I was riding on fumes at times.
I didn't depart until after lunch, but past experience has shown me that I can complete the round trip, with rest stops, in eight hours or less. I departed about 1:15 p.m., thinking I had plenty of time to finish the ride by sunset, which was approximately 9:19 p.m.
I was wrong.
I knew when I stopped for water about 25 miles from the end of my ride that I'd be finishing after sunset, but I didn't care. I don't like to ride in the dark, but without a break, I wasn't sure I'd make it back to Osakis. I finished at approximately 9:45 p.m. Although it was darker than I prefer, it's not as if I was trying to bike through the streets of Minneapolis in the dark, and there was a tinge of sunlight in the western sky when I finished, so it wasn't as dark as it could be.
My average speed was the worst of the three round trips I have made, and I wasn't surprised. It was still respectable, I suppose, but I was disappointed.
Moral of my story: prepare better before attempting my next century ride. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm back, baby!
Well, not yet, but I will be soon. I will finally return to the online world on a regular basis sometime next month, ideally the week of July 7.
Until then, I need to remind myself that there's much to be done this summer. Here's one of my uninteresting bicycling updates.
Recent bicycling totals:
Saturday: 36.5 miles
Sunday: 39 miles
Monday: 40.5 miles
Tuesday: 28.5 miles
Four-day total: 144 miles
Until then, I need to remind myself that there's much to be done this summer. Here's one of my uninteresting bicycling updates.
Recent bicycling totals:
Saturday: 36.5 miles
Sunday: 39 miles
Monday: 40.5 miles
Tuesday: 28.5 miles
Four-day total: 144 miles
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Please join the Foundation for a Milk-Free World
Who knew drinking milk was just as nasty and terrible as smoking and gambling?
Not me.
But I learned that last week, thanks to my never-ending quest to save a buck.
I’m a sucker for those stupid promotions and gimmicks at Walgreen’s. I really should stop going there, it’s a terribly run corporation, and it’s not doing America any favors. I’d stop short of calling it the Wal-mart of the pharmaceutical industry, but it may be just as evil.
But those jip joints are do offer a few things I need at a competitive price. Granted, 99 percent of their crap is overpriced, (and anything on sale at a good price is guaranteed to be out of stock,) but nobody has given me more free toothbrushes than Walgreen’s.
One of their new gimmicks is the “instant reward” or whatever it is they call it. If you buy an advertised product at a set price, you get a coupon for a future purchase. The coupon works like cash, for the most part, although unlike the cash in my wallet, Walgreen’s cash is only good for two weeks. They don’t want my cheap ass saving $3 on a purchase in June, they need me to come in and buy more of their overpriced crap now.
Last week I bought a gallon of milk and two bags of M&Ms at the nearby Walgreen’s. Both products were on sale. The M&Ms were for my card game that night, the milk was for the house. Milk was prominently featured on the weekly sale flier for $2.99 per gallon.
I had one of those instant rewards, worth $3, and like the idiot I am, I forgot to use it when I made my $8 purchase. I realized this sometime Saturday, the day the reward was expiring.
On my way back home Saturday afternoon I stopped at Walgreen’s, figuring I’d purchase another gallon of milk, on sale, and use the coupon. All was fine until I handed it to Sluggo at the register. He said he didn’t think the coupon would work, due to some sort of restriction on its use. He was right.
At that point I asked if he could just apply the coupon to my previous night’s candy purchase. (The receipt was still in my wallet.) He said I’d need to talk to the manager.
So I did, and I asked her how the hell milk could be restricted from purchase with an instant reward. Promotional gimmicks often say that certain items – usually tobacco, lottery tickets, liquor and gift cards – are excluded from the gimmick, but milk?
The manager told me that because milk prices are regulated by the government – they are, somehow, but don’t ask me why – milk cannot be covered by an instant reward.
I didn’t ask why this highly-regulated liquid could be offered at a sale price, something I’m seeing a lot of in grocery store sales fliers lately, but not discounted $3 with what essentially is a cash-back rebate from a separate purchase. I am confident Nancy had no clue.
Instead I just shook my head, accepted $3 cash from her in exchange for the coupon I forgot to use on Friday and left the store.
The government will allow me to buy as much processed sugar as my heart desires with my instant reward, or an addictive over-the-counter medicine, but not milk.
Milk must be as dangerous and addictive as smoking and gambling. If that’s the case, pour me another rum and Diet Pepsi at lunch. If I’m going to drink a harmful liquid, I might as well enjoy my afternoon.
Not me.
But I learned that last week, thanks to my never-ending quest to save a buck.
I’m a sucker for those stupid promotions and gimmicks at Walgreen’s. I really should stop going there, it’s a terribly run corporation, and it’s not doing America any favors. I’d stop short of calling it the Wal-mart of the pharmaceutical industry, but it may be just as evil.
But those jip joints are do offer a few things I need at a competitive price. Granted, 99 percent of their crap is overpriced, (and anything on sale at a good price is guaranteed to be out of stock,) but nobody has given me more free toothbrushes than Walgreen’s.
One of their new gimmicks is the “instant reward” or whatever it is they call it. If you buy an advertised product at a set price, you get a coupon for a future purchase. The coupon works like cash, for the most part, although unlike the cash in my wallet, Walgreen’s cash is only good for two weeks. They don’t want my cheap ass saving $3 on a purchase in June, they need me to come in and buy more of their overpriced crap now.
Last week I bought a gallon of milk and two bags of M&Ms at the nearby Walgreen’s. Both products were on sale. The M&Ms were for my card game that night, the milk was for the house. Milk was prominently featured on the weekly sale flier for $2.99 per gallon.
I had one of those instant rewards, worth $3, and like the idiot I am, I forgot to use it when I made my $8 purchase. I realized this sometime Saturday, the day the reward was expiring.
On my way back home Saturday afternoon I stopped at Walgreen’s, figuring I’d purchase another gallon of milk, on sale, and use the coupon. All was fine until I handed it to Sluggo at the register. He said he didn’t think the coupon would work, due to some sort of restriction on its use. He was right.
At that point I asked if he could just apply the coupon to my previous night’s candy purchase. (The receipt was still in my wallet.) He said I’d need to talk to the manager.
So I did, and I asked her how the hell milk could be restricted from purchase with an instant reward. Promotional gimmicks often say that certain items – usually tobacco, lottery tickets, liquor and gift cards – are excluded from the gimmick, but milk?
The manager told me that because milk prices are regulated by the government – they are, somehow, but don’t ask me why – milk cannot be covered by an instant reward.
I didn’t ask why this highly-regulated liquid could be offered at a sale price, something I’m seeing a lot of in grocery store sales fliers lately, but not discounted $3 with what essentially is a cash-back rebate from a separate purchase. I am confident Nancy had no clue.
Instead I just shook my head, accepted $3 cash from her in exchange for the coupon I forgot to use on Friday and left the store.
The government will allow me to buy as much processed sugar as my heart desires with my instant reward, or an addictive over-the-counter medicine, but not milk.
Milk must be as dangerous and addictive as smoking and gambling. If that’s the case, pour me another rum and Diet Pepsi at lunch. If I’m going to drink a harmful liquid, I might as well enjoy my afternoon.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Where does the time go? (unedited)
It wasn't long ago I was adjusting to the idea of commuting much more than I cared for on a daily basis, not having a home computer at night and relying on the library for occasional weekend checks of my e-mail. It has been more than two months already.
I tired of the cameos at the library within a couple of weeks, instead relying primarily upon my work computer for periodic access to e-mail, my bank account, et al. It wasn't that bad. If I needed to access a website for my job on a regular basis, perhaps life would have been difficult. If my social life revolved around online poker, perhaps life would have been unbearable. But for me life without home internet access has been easy to adjust to.
I had planned to move to a new apartment in April, but for multiple reasons I think I'm going to delay that by one month. By the first weekend in May, however, it's back to some craphole apartment with annoying neighbors. All my living arrangements have been relatively small, one way or another. I've never lived in a big building with the unwashed masses, perhaps I'll avoid that fate again.
So I may not have the privilege of blogging when the mood strikes me until May, and that's fine. I know I would have written a dozen blogs in the past two months had my situation been different, but that's life. Besides, too much of it would have been introspective, and that's boring. There's a value to putting my thoughts into words and being able to see them later, but that's not the sole purpose of this blog, although it seems like it as of late.
Although next time I sit down at this blog I'll probably provide introspective content. I hope to, anyway. I'd like to blog about the things I've learned about life since fire forced me from my apartment in early January. I have learned a lot, not all because of the fire.
I tired of the cameos at the library within a couple of weeks, instead relying primarily upon my work computer for periodic access to e-mail, my bank account, et al. It wasn't that bad. If I needed to access a website for my job on a regular basis, perhaps life would have been difficult. If my social life revolved around online poker, perhaps life would have been unbearable. But for me life without home internet access has been easy to adjust to.
I had planned to move to a new apartment in April, but for multiple reasons I think I'm going to delay that by one month. By the first weekend in May, however, it's back to some craphole apartment with annoying neighbors. All my living arrangements have been relatively small, one way or another. I've never lived in a big building with the unwashed masses, perhaps I'll avoid that fate again.
So I may not have the privilege of blogging when the mood strikes me until May, and that's fine. I know I would have written a dozen blogs in the past two months had my situation been different, but that's life. Besides, too much of it would have been introspective, and that's boring. There's a value to putting my thoughts into words and being able to see them later, but that's not the sole purpose of this blog, although it seems like it as of late.
Although next time I sit down at this blog I'll probably provide introspective content. I hope to, anyway. I'd like to blog about the things I've learned about life since fire forced me from my apartment in early January. I have learned a lot, not all because of the fire.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
On hiatus?
It sucks not being able to blog at night when the mood strikes me, but living in somebody else's home, where there isn't a home computer, leaves a guy with few options. There are topics to blog about, but I'm not sure when I'll get to them. The five weeks since fire drove me from my apartment have been eye opening, and not bad, all things considered. That's a topic to explore another time.
If there's one thing I have taken away from the recent turn of events in my life, it's to live 2008 like it's the last year of my life. I'm not sure where that will leave me in 2009, but I don't want to think that far ahead.
If there's one thing I have taken away from the recent turn of events in my life, it's to live 2008 like it's the last year of my life. I'm not sure where that will leave me in 2009, but I don't want to think that far ahead.
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