Thursday, August 30, 2007

Fairly peculiar

There's so much I could write about the Great Minnesota Get Together(tm), but I'll keep it simple for now, I'm exhausted.

I'll be working during 10 days of the Minnesota State Fair. I see hundreds of people each hour, so naturally I see a wide array of people, and T-shirts. I noticed two particular T-shirts on day 3 and realized I wanted to start noting the most memorable of them. I'll list them, including a favorite of the day. I may not get the wording of the shirts exact, but you'll get the idea. It's too bad I can't do a pictorial blog of these shirts, but that would require technological savviness, something I sorely lack.

day 3: There were two memorable T-shirts, and they belonged to two gay men. I can't guarantee they're gay, but they are. They both had gray T-shirts with a red screen print, each one had a screen print of a baseball player. One T-shirt said "Pitcher," the other said "Catcher." I'm sure it's meant to be funny, but instead of gay pride, that was an exhibit of gay shame. Would people want to know how a heterosexual man likes to have sex with his wife?

day 4: It's easy to pick my favorite, but sadly the most memorable will go to the guy whose shirt said "F--- you you F---ing F---." He looked like white trash, and the woman he was with helped sell the image. I guess if you want a profanity-laden T-shirt there are appropriate times and places to wear such a thing, but a public event attended by thousands of families, including families of young children who can read? I hate F---ing F---s like that guy. Show a little class.

The funniest belonged to a lanky dude with a pink T-shirt that I've seen a few times: "World's Best Mom."

One other noteworthy entry was a middle-aged dude with a T-shirt that said "Big Hands, Big Feet, You Get the Idea." Ha ha ha. You're 49 years old and trying to be funny by wearing a silly T-shirt claiming you're a sexual dynamo. I guess it is funny since you look about 50 years old.

day 5: The two most memorable T-shirts also sported sex themes. Neither was hilarious, but both were slightly more amusing than most of the yucks delivered on T-shirts yesterday. One shirt said "Half Man Half Horse" with an arrow pointing upward above "half man" and an arrow pointing downward under "half horse."

The other had a white line across the chest and said something like "You Must be at Least This Tall to Ride."

Both were worn by dudes who looked in their 20s, so even though I don't find it that amusing, or appropriate at a family-oriented event, I wouldn't deem them offensive.

day 6: A portly young woman was sporting a T-shirt that said "Stop Reading My Shirt." I found that more amusing than it should have been.

While the day 6 winner wasn't the most memorable T-shirt of the fair, it was the most memorable of the day.

I suppose I'll better remember one dude, only because his shirt struck me as particularly odd. He had a Beavis and Butthead T-shirt. It looked to be in good shape and it had a picture of Beavis as his "Cornholio" alter ego with the caption "Are you Threatening Me?" That shirt would have been timely 10 years ago, but it seemed dated, and not in a nostalgic way. Beavis and Butthead have yet to experience a nostalgic wave of popularity, although DVDs of their show have been sold by Time-Life. (I'm not kidding!) All I could wonder is if the dude kept a new T-shirt in reserve until his first one completely fell apart.

A consolation shout-out goes to the dude with a rather puzzling homage to Vanilla Ice. His white T-shirt had the simple phrase "If there is a problem yo I'll solve it." Why?

That's the last thing we need, a wave of Vanilla Ice nostalgia.

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